hurt
It hurts so much when you’re not around. It hurts because you could be giving that grin to someone else, and I would never know. Do you love me enough to save it for me? To save all our little jokes and the things you do that infuriate me, but I laugh anyway, for me and not to let someone else in?
You didn’t once. You said the things that lovers say and you never even heard her voice, or saw the way she moved. Maybe if you had, you would have seen how incomparable the two of us are.
But you thought, “she’ll never know.” and if i were any less than who i am, it would have been true.
maybe you won’t risk it now.
That’s all i have to hold onto.
the moments when it hurts, i can’t hold on, i wonder what you’re doing and with whom and what you’ve already done and if you really feel how i do. so i compensate. and i drown.
when you return, i hope to god i’m still here. i hope to god we still exist. i hope i hope ihopeihope
